A Cautionary Tale
Be careful, very careful, when you’re responsible for your loved one’s finances
By R.D. Danielson
I don’t want to scare you, but when you’re a caregiver, you have a lot of responsibility and must be very careful.
I learned this the hard way.
I was responsible for taking care of my parents’ finances and became responsible for paying all of their bills.
Fortunately, they had social security income, a small pension, and a little money in the bank, so I didn’t have to use my own money. I know now that that in itself was a luxury that many caregivers don’t have. Instead, many need to spend their own money to pay for their loved one’s expenses. I’m thankful that I didn’t have to use my own money, of course.
I am a careful person by nature, and I had a good plan in place to make sure I didn’t miss anything – that everything was paid on time or at least close enough to on time that it was not a problem.
However, as you may know, according to the translation of a Robert Burns poem, “The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry.”
And, of course, it happened to me.
I don’t know how it happened, but I neglected to pay two utility bills one month at my parents’ house. They were the electric bill and the gas bill, and it was in the dead of winter.
Somehow, I also missed the notices from the utility companies telling me that the utilities were scheduled to be cut off.
When I checked the mail several days late, I found final notices that said the electricity and gas were going to be cut off the next day. You heard that right – the very next day!
Mind you, it was during a very cold spell, and my mother was bedridden and using a breathing machine that ran on electricity. The house was heated by gas, and my mother was overweight and couldn’t simply be moved somewhere else.
If those utilities were cut off, it would be a disaster, especially since I didn’t know how long it might take to get them turned back on.
I was scared to death. I was there to help my parents, and now it would be my fault if their utilities were cut off during the coldest days of the year! And would my mother die if her breathing machine stopped working?
I panicked, but I didn’t tell them.
I was too ashamed and didn’t want to scare them.
All I could do was try to pay the bills before the companies’ crews turned the utilities off the next day.
I set multiple alarms to try to make sure I woke up the next morning before the two utility companies opened.
I was terrified I would oversleep, but I didn’t.
I woke and got ready early, drove to the first company, and sat outside in my car, waiting for it to open.
As soon as the doors were unlocked, I rushed in to pay the bill.
Then, I rushed about five or 10 minutes away to the other company.
I got inside and, fortunately, my cousin who I hadn’t seen in perhaps decades, was working the front desk.
I told her the problem, and she helped get me to the person who could prevent the cut off.
Whew!!! Disaster averted – this time.
I was always a careful person, but this made me even more careful.
As I said, this isn’t meant to scare you. I’m pretty sure you already have a lot on your plate, and I certainly empathize.
This is simply meant to be a cautionary tale – a reminder so that you don’t end up in the dire situation I found myself in.
Please be careful.
Wishing you the best.
